


'Cause I'm Only Human After All

by Flight_Of_Icarus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: FRIDAY is worried about her creators shit sleeping habits, FRIDAY loves Tony, Gen, Go read., I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Other, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony is sad, Tony misses jarvis, i'll shut up now, the bots break things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 12:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12433074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flight_Of_Icarus/pseuds/Flight_Of_Icarus
Summary: Tony mourns the death of his son.





	1. Maybe I'm foolish...Maybe I'm blind

“DUM-E, watch where you...and there goes the vase. Why do we even have a vase on a table in the middle of the hallway?” Tony said, staring at the shattered remains of the vase on the floor and raising an eyebrow at a sheepish DUM-E. He backed up and tried to hide behind YOU who was just spinning in circles because he couldn’t find a broom. “YOU, leave it, I’ll clean it up later. Come on. Butterfingers,  _ please _  watch where you’re going? I don’t know how I’m supposed to explain a bot shaped dent in the wall.”

“BARF has finished setting up Boss, it's ready for the simulation.” FRIDAY spoke up, a slight hint of disapproval in her voice. “It took some time to power on, since most people shouldn’t be using it at 3 am anyway.”

“I get your point FRI.” Tony said, opening the door. “Promise I’ll go to sleep after this.”

“Sure Boss.” FRIDAY said sarcastically. He’s lying and she knows it, but thankfully she doesn’t press the issue. Tony stiffened when there was an almighty crash from behind it but only sighed and pressed his forehead against the wall.

“That would be the table Butterfingers knocked over right Fri?” he said, not turning around. Hello denial.

“Yes Boss.” FRIDAY said apologetically as he walked further into the BARF hall. DUM-E and YOU got into a bit of a tussle over who got into the room and he let them sort it out as he picked up the glasses and settled against the wall.

“Should I start Boss?” FRIDAY said when all the bots come in and huddle around him. He leaned forward and pressed his palms against his eyes, a wave of tiredness abruptly sweeping over him. “Boss? Are you okay? Should I call Colonel Rhodes?”

“No it’s alright FRI.” he croaked out, warmed by her concern. “Fire it up.”

The scene started to form, himself sitting in the lab watching the television.

_ “ _ **_JARVIS, we get an invite for that_ ** _?”  _ he watched himself say.  _  
_ _ “ _ **_I have no record of an invitation, sir._ ** _ ” _  the voice of JARVIS is like a punch to the gut. The familiar tones, present in Vision but always... _ wrong _  somehow come with a wave of grief.

It never gets any easier.

There was a soft whir as DUM-E lowered his arm and rested his arm on Tony’s shoulder. He blinked back tears, patting the robot on the arm, watching the holograms being pulled up and letting his own voice and JARVIS’ voice wash over him. DUM-E chirped sadly, turning his camera towards the scene, looking to where Tony had installed the speakers in his old lab.

“Yeah, I miss him too bud.” he said hoarsely. DUM-E moved closer as the first sob made his breathing hitch, sandwiching him between his and Butterfingers’ frame. “I guess I got the Stark trait of fucking up kids on a massive scale. Got you three plunged into the ocean because of my stupidity and then  _ I got J killed _ .”

“ **_JARVIS, you up?_ ** _ ” _  he heard his younger self say.

_ “ _ **_For you sir, always,_ ** _ ” _  JARVIS said and everything froze as Tony paused the simulation. DUM-E let out a comforting whirr, scooching closer and Tony pressed his face to his cold frame, letting DUM-E cool the hot burn of tears. They stayed that way, bot and human pressed together until he dropped off to sleep, curled on the floor of the BARF hall. Until he needed to get up and get on with his day because the world wouldn’t stop for his grief. It didn’t when JARVIS first died, and it wouldn’t stop for him now.

Not even on the anniversary of when he died.


	2. Take a look in the mirror...and what do you see?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony talks with Vision

 

Tony jackknifed up, missing DUM-E’s claw by millimeters as he gasped in panic. His breaths came in harsh pants as he forced his breathing to even out. Slowly, sound filtered back in, the harsh clang of vibranium against his suit, the shattering of metal fading away to soft beeps of concern in his ear and FRIDAY keeping a running commentary about Helen Cho’s latest paper.

“Hey, bud.” Tony finally rasped, looking at DUM-E who would have been bumping him if he was any closer. Every time Tony had fallen asleep in the workshop, DUM-E was always right in front of him, crowding him. He would have asked him to stop...but it started after the incident where his reactor was stolen all those years ago. Looking at JARVIS’ logs a couple months after it started, he’d left the house for the day when he realized DUM-E was constantly pinging JARVIS to receive status updates. DUM-E had taken it upon himself to make sure Tony wasn’t dying when he slept. “Give me some space yeah?”

The robot chirped before moving back slightly. You and Butterfingers were also hovering nearby, rolling back and forth anxiously. FRIDAY stopped her litany, and for a moment there was nothing other than the whirr of the bot’s mechanics and Tony’s own breathing in the empty hall.

“It’s 7:30 a.m. Boss,” FRIDAY said, her voice quiet in the stillness. “I tried waking you up, but you weren’t responding. Would you like to get up? You have a meeting at nine and then it’s Vision’s party…”’

“Right, thanks FRI.” Tony said, blinking down at himself when he realized there were blankets pooled around him. “....why am I in a nest?”  

“I was...concerned you might get cold,” FRIDAY said hesitantly. “But you were in REM sleep so Butterfingers went to get blankets from the workshop and You cleaned up the hallway.”

“Oh..” Tony said, handing the stack to You who had rolled closer and was watching him worriedly.  “Not totally useless after all. Good job you two. Carry those back down to the workshop. Thanks, FRI.”

“No problem Boss.” FRIDAY said, “The hallways are clear so you will be able to get the bots back to the workshop if you leave now.”

Tony nodded and smiled where he knew the nearest camera was located before standing with DUM-E’s help. He was too old to go to sleep on cold floors for the night but he never wanted to move after hearing JARVIS and installing BARF in his workshop or bedroom sounded like he  _ wanted _  to go insane. He placed the glasses - which  _ Butterfingers  _ of all bots, had managed to get off his face and place elsewhere without breaking -  back onto the console and herded the bots back into the workshop and charging stations. Pouring himself a cup of coffee and draining it, he took another as he got ready for his meeting.

~~

“Hey Vision,” Tony said, clutching a folder in his hand as he greeted the android who was sitting and observing the rest of the Avengers as they milled around. “Sorry I’m late to the party.”

“That’s fine, Mr.Stark.” Vision said, standing up to talk to him. “This was your doing after all.”

“Yeah well, I do throw epic birthday parties.” Tony joked, “FRIDAY informed me that you don’t like ice sculptures, however.”

“I don’t think they would be necessary, this is more than enough.” Vision said, looking around.

“You know that you didn’t have to cook right?” Tony said, looking at the food tables pushed to the wall that was laden with food. “It’s kinda your birthday.”

“I get enjoyment from the activity.” Vision said with a slight as Peter and Harley bickered over giant plates of food they were enthusiastically devouring.

“Something bothering you Vision?” Tony said carefully, seeing the pensive look in Vision’s eyes. God knows he was the worst person to offer comfort, but he couldn’t help but feel a little protective as he saw the lost look that Vision was trying to hide.

“I…” Vision hesitated, clearly trying to decide whether he should tell him or pretend that there was nothing wrong. Tony was only thankful he felt comfortable enough to actually choose the first option. “I’m not sure this celebration is necessary.”

“Why not?” Tony said, “Everyone has a birthday, or a day they celebrate it. It’s tradition.”

“I’m not a person though.” Vision said awkwardly. “I’m not...human like you.”

Tony took a gulp of juice to cover the sudden rage that flared.

“Thor’s not human, he’s still considered a person,” he said levelly. “Who told you that?”

“I just...I...I don’t know where I came from.” Vision said, gently touching the Mind Stone. “It’s part of me...but it’s so foreign. It’s not of this world. ”

“I know what that feels like, to have something foreign in your body,” Tony said, and at Vision’s confused look he tapped his chest where his arc reactor was housed. “You’re young Vision, and I think we all forget that sometimes. It’s okay not to know who you are. And it’s okay if that changes often. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t human. You think, you decide, you feel happiness, you feel anger. Sounds pretty human to me. And years ago we didn't know there were kids who could get slammed by a bus and hold ferry's together, or gods that could fly, or that aliens were real. The world's changing, and there are more and more people with strange powers coming out of the woodworks. You're still part of it.”

“Thank you Mr.Stark…” Vision said, “I find myself comforted by your words.”

“Call me Tony, none of this Mr.Stark nonsense,” Tony said, covering his surprise. Usually, conversations didn’t end this way. “And I might as well give you your present. Happy birthday.”

He handed the slim folder he was carrying to Vision and the android opened it curiously.

“If you want to,” Tony said carefully, watching as Vision took in the details. “I know you like cooking and you should have a chance to get out of this compound and meet other people.”

“Collage…” Vision said in wonder before he paused. “But...I’m not exactly...normal looking.”

“It doesn’t matter, you’re there to learn, not join a beauty pageant,” Tony said, shifting slightly to take in the rest of the room. The others were giving the two of them their space, sensing the seriousness of the situation. “If anyone says anything, that’s called harassment. I’m not pressuring you to go, but I think it would be good for you. And you said it yourself, you enjoy cooking, and everyone needs a hobby.”

“Then...I think I will go.” Vision said, looking at the attached pamphlet. “It sounds enlightening.”

“You’ll do great Vision,” Tony said, smiling at him and let out an internal sigh of relief when the Android gave a tentative smile back. He tilted his head back to the party. “Now why don’t you get to enjoying your birthday?”

“I know it can’t be easy.” Vision said, his voice turning solemn. “Hearing my voice...being reminded of JARVIS.”

Tony froze, the unexpected statement catching him off guard. The hollow ache that he’d pushed away returned full force, grief crashing into him again.

“It’s alright,” he said, proud of how steady his voice was. “I know...I know you’re not him.”

“That only makes it harder, I think.” Vision said, looking at Tony with something akin to sorrow in his cybernetic eyes. “I have a few things from him...but I am sad that I was never able to meet him. Or that he had to die for me to be born.”

“JARVIS wasn’t real,” he said, parroting what he’d heard every time he’s tried talking to someone about it.

“I think many people would say the same about me.” Vision said gently. “You cared very much about him...and from the flashes I got when I was born...he cared very much about you. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Thanks, Vision.” Tony managed, his voice shaking ever so slightly but he didn’t push, just dipped his head and glided away.

The knot around Tony’s heart loosened ever so slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. There's a second chapter because your comments made me smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I violated the sacred rule of #JARVISLives for this.  
> I need sleep guys.  
> Title taken from "Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man


End file.
